This Thing Called Pride
by EverShadow
Summary: Santana Lopez has never had to apologize to anyone for anything. But as she stands on the brink of losing Brittany, she reflects upon their relationship through the years and wonders if she can swallow her pride in time to save everything she loves.
1. Chapter 1

Santana remembered the very day that she stopped believing in fairy tales. It was Halloween at 6:00 in the evening. They'd just finished dinner and Santana raced upstairs to put on her costume. She was 8 years old and dressed as a princess. Ever since she started watching Disney princess movies, she'd dreamt of being one of them. Her favorite was Jasmine because she thought she looked like her the most, with her darker skin and hair the shade of night. Her father sat with her when she watched the movie and she told her father that she was going to be like Jasmine one day. Her father chuckled.

"No, Santana, you're going to marry someone who has an actual job." He said. Santana frowned and crossed her arms.

"It's true love, Daddy!" She insisted.

"If you don't marry someone with money, sweetie, he won't be able to buy you toys." This seemed to change Santana's mind instantly.

"I wanna marry a prince!" She said and her father let out a deep, engine rumble of a laugh as he hugged his daughter close.

"That's more like it." He patted her on the head and they continued to watch Aladdin escape the guards for the fiftieth time.

Santana dressed up like Jasmine that Halloween, excited that maybe her prince would see her out trick-or-treating and sweep her off her feet and onto a white horse or something along those lines. Her father was supposed to take her out but while she was waiting upstairs, twirling in the mirror in her custom-made costume, the shouting started.

Santana crept over to the stairs. She gripped the railing with her tiny hands. As a child any shouting from either parent was enough to frighten her. But when both her parents shouted at once, Santana wanted to hide under her bed and wait until everything was quiet again. She peered through the wooden balusters, trying to see if maybe her mother had accidentally dropped one of her dad's favorite beer mugs again. She saw her father, his face red with rage waving papers around. The tone of his voice scared her and she cowered. Her mother, equally angry was not visible but her voice was audible. She was in the kitchen, slamming pots and pans everywhere. Her father screamed things like,

"Bills past due" and "you do none of the work! I slave at the construction site every day while you get your hair done." Her mother suddenly came into view and started hitting him with her hands and her perfectly manicured nails. Even though Santana didn't know what the word meant, it was the first time she'd heard the word "infidelity." Her father went quiet and glared at her mother. For a minute, Santana thought that maybe they'd finally stopped fighting. She began to crawl down the stairs when her father turned on his heel and grabbed his coat.

"Where are you going?" Santana's mother demanded.

"I'm done." He said and stormed out the door. Her mother let out a yell and flung a cup at him, the mug smashing against the closing door.

"I don't need you and your worthless ass!" She screamed. She sat down at the table, her hands folded in front of her face, almost as if in a prayer. Santana, scared out of her wits, made her way over to her mother. She was crying through her hands. Santana didn't know how to make her stop so she tugged on her pants.

"Mommy, are we going trick or treating?" She asked.

"Not now." Her mother said in as steady a voice as she could manage.

"I'll share some of my candy..." Santana offered in a small voice.

"Later." She said sternly.

"But Mommy..."

"I said later!" Her mother shouted. Santana backed away, shrinking in a terrified manner and bolted back up the stairs. She jumped onto her bed and began crying, not sure why her mother rejected candy. Candy made everything better. She looked out her window. The streets were filled with people and their kids running around back and forth, screaming with delight. Santana watched them for a while, tears streaming down her face.

She wanted to be out there with her dad and even her mother as they swung her by her arms and carried her when she got tired. She wanted her mother to sort the candy for her, designate what she could eat over the next year so that she didn't get cavities. She looked at the sky and remembered another Disney movie that she'd watched. There were no princesses in that one, but she liked it just the same.

"Please, let Daddy come back and take me trick or treating. Please."

Santana's father never came back for Halloween, nor did Santana's mother take her out. Her wish, which Jiminy Cricket promised would come true if she wished on a star, did not. Her parents got divorced the following year. Her mother, married quickly after, to a surgeon who provided her with all the money she wanted. And Santana grew up with a stepfather that showered her with gifts.

She called him Dad, he bought her a new shiny handbag. She said "I love you" and he gave her $200. He tried to buy his way into her heart but it only made her grow colder. Soon she came to understand that only two things were important, money and status. It was how she treated people, how she treated life and it was how she lived. She never had to apologize for anything, not that one time that she beat up a girl so hard the girl missed a week of school. Her father merely wrote a check large enough to pay for her bills and then some and Santana never got in trouble.

But in life, there are always exceptions. For Santana, that exception was Brittany. Brittany had come from a poor family but her demeanor was always so cheerful. Santana couldn't help but be drawn to Brittany. Here was this girl who didn't have half of what Santana had yet she was always smiling. Where Santana said "money" on her second grade "What is the one thing you wish you had" question, Brittany answered "Nothing." Santana confronted the girl after, asking why she'd answered "nothing" and Brittany shrugged.

"I'm happy." She replied. From then on, Santana couldn't help but stay by her side, fascinated by how someone could be so happy all the time. And Brittany never left Santana. Brittany was that constant in her life.

It was Brittany who was that one inexplicable anomaly that no one could ever figure out. Brittany, whom she relied on to be there at her best and worst, who had always been there holding her pinky or hand or kissing her when she needed it most. And for years and years, that was how their relationship was.

So when Santana stared at strange papers with strange words like "divorce" and "separation" she felt just numb inside. None of the sentences made any sense. How could this have happened? They'd always pulled through. It never mattered how stupid Santana acted or what mess Brittany got in, they'd always made it. Santana glanced down over at the papers in the eerie silence of her house. She looked over at the clock. Normally at 4:00pm, Sammy would be asking for her snack. Matt would be bursting through the door to get to his video games and Brittany would follow, chasing after him with groceries in her hand.

But now that she thought about it, that hadn't happened in a long time. How long had it been since two of her children left the house with her wife? Since their rooms had been emptied of clothes and her belongings packed up. How long had Santana been brushing her teeth alone, or sleeping with no one beside her?

It had been quiet and lonely for a very long time. The hustle bustle of the afternoon was gone and Santana missed it. Brittany, Sammy and Matt were gone.

The door opened and Santana quickly looked toward it. She knew who it was but it didn't stop her from hoping that it was the rest of her family. She could imagine Sammy running into her arms yelling "Mommy!" and Matt stubbornly refusing to admit he missed her. And Brittany would apologize for running out.

"Hi Mom." Aaron said as he walked in. He took off his shoes and backpack. Santana hastened to put the papers away in her folder before he saw but he knew what they were anyway. He walked into the kitchen and opened the fridge, getting out juice to drink.

"How was your day, sweetie?"

"Ok." He replied but he sounded tired and Santana knew it wasn't from baseball practice. He opened the cupboards and got out a box of EasyMac. Santana cursed under her breath and put her hand to her face.

"Oh, Honey, I'm so sorry. I completely forgot about dinner." She sighed, getting up.

"'S'ok. I got dinner." Aaron said, getting out a pot and filling it with water. Santana walked over to him and brushed his hair back.

"I'm going to clean up, ok?" She insisted. Aaron nodded as he sat down to do his homework as the water boiled.

Aaron had been more than a Godsend for Santana. He'd stepped into the nurturer role and taken care of her. At his age, a young fourteen, he should've been out playing with his friends. Instead, he was at home with his depressed mother, doing his best to fight depression as well because he had to be that light in Santana's life. Santana kissed the top of his head.

"I'm going to go wash my face, ok?" She asked. He nodded, furiously scribbling at math. Santana went upstairs. She sat down on the bed and pressed the palms of her hand against her eyes, trying with futility to force the tears back. When she removed her hands, she sighed. There were dark bags under her eyes from all the mental and physical exhaustion. Her shoulders slumped forward and she stared at the floor. The divorce was taking its toll on her.

Fighting with Brittany had never been easy. It started as small things, dishes unwashed, clothes tossed here and there, being late a few minutes to a soccer game. But they soon spiraled into coming home late drunk, arguing about the rising cost of bills now that they had two teenage sons and a young daughter.

Santana remembered the night the divorce started. They were yelling at each other again and Santana uttered words she wished she never even knew. She screamed a single sentence at her and Brittany went deathly quiet. Aaron ushered their 7 year old daughter upstairs, promising her that she could watch TV in their parents' room if she went. Brittany looked at her, hurt written all over her face. Santana's face faltered. Soon, Brittany's expression turned to bitter hatred. Tears of rage fell from her eyes and she grabbed her coat and ran out the door, slamming it behind her. Instead of chasing after her, Santana was rooted to the spot, the image of her father storming out freezing her in place. She opened her mouth to say something, anything at all, as if the words could penetrate the door and reach Brittany but only a harsh gasp escaped her mouth.

Matt sat on the steps, glaring at Santana. The 13 year old was just a year younger than Aaron but he was like a normal teen. He wasn't unnaturally mature like Aaron, he was just a boy. But even if Santana tried to tell herself that, it still stung when he screamed "I hate you!" and ran out the door after Brittany. Santana couldn't bring herself to chase after them, even though she wanted to. Instead, she went back into the kitchen and fixed herself a drink. She stared at the wine bottle in her hand and smashed it against the counter, crying.

Aaron came downstairs after hearing the glass shatter. He surveyed the room with a calm eye, even though fear was apparent on his face. Without another word, he got a paper towel and began wiping up the mess that Santana made. Santana hated herself, hated that her son was cleaning up after her, hated that she had said what she did to Brittany, even if it was true, hated that she didn't know how to say that she was sorry.

The door to her room opened and Aaron walked in with two bowls of mac' and cheese. He sat down next to her and handed her one of them. Santana accepted it but instead of eating, she set it down on the opposite side of her. She reached up and combed her fingers through his hair.

"We need to get you a haircut." She said, feigning cheeriness.

"Ok." Aaron said, eating. Santana watched him. He was still a boy, he shouldn't have to deal with making dinner for his mother. He shouldn't be worried when she came home at eight though she normally came home at three, wondering if she'd died, or gotten drunk, or had also left him.

"Why did you stay with me?" She whispered. "Brittany was always the better mother."

"Do you not want me to stay?" Aaron asked. His voice quivered with hurt but he tried to hide it.

"No, God, that's not what I meant. Aaron, of course I want you to stay, I love you. I love you all. I just..." Santana trailed off. Aaron nodded, swallowing his food before he talked.

"You needed someone." He explained. "If you lost everyone, you'd never make it. Mama's fine, she always has been. But I stayed because I worry about you, Mom." Santana felt her eyes water.

"We'll get through this." She promised. "You're an amazing son, you know that?" She felt she didn't deserve him. _You are your Mama's son._ She said. Santana was Mom, Brittany was Mama.

After dinner, Santana made sure Aaron brushed his teeth and took a shower before going to bed. She cleaned up the dishes as he washed and when he was done, she tucked him in. He poked his head out from under the covers.

"Do you want me to tell you a story?" Santana asked.

"Mom, I'm in 8th grade, I don't need stories." He replied. Santana nodded and smiled. She'd grown accustomed to Sammy always asking for a story that she transferred that habit to her 14 year old son.

"Sorry. You're a big boy." She stood up. But almost as soon as she got to her feet, Aaron stopped her.

"Wait, Mom..." He ducked under the covers.

"Yes?" Santana asked, sitting back down.

"Never mind."

"No, honey, what is it?" Santana prodded. Aaron popped out, only showing his eyes. He was silent for a few seconds before he spoke.

"You promise you won't get mad or sad?" He asked. Immediately, Santana knew it was going to be about Brittany. Aaron had always been so careful not to mention her for fear of upsetting his Mom. But she wasn't about to deny him anything.

"Promise."

"How...how did you and Mama meet?" Aaron said timidly, terrified of upsetting his mother. Santana smiled and forced back the pain that rose in her chest. He wanted her to do the one thing that was going to hurt her the most; reliving their long, tangled, beautiful and messed up history. She stroked his hair.

"I can tell you that story."


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's note: So I finally realized how to approach this fic. I did not want it to be exactly like Color. So I woke up and realized what I was going to do. I once saw a play, and I don't remember the name, about a failed relationship. The woman starts at the beginning of the relationship and walked forward, the man starts at the end of the relationship and reminisces back (Or like memento the movie). I realized that that's what I want to do with this. I want to take Santana's POV from the beginning, and Brittany's from the end and have their memories meet right in the middle, when they were happiest. **

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When Santana and Brittany first met, it was the first day of kindergarten and everyone was introducing themselves. It wasn't anything special, all of the Glee kids, save Matt who moved to Lima in the third grade, was there. The teacher went around, asking all the kids to say their name.

"I'm Noah Puck...Puckerman." Noah said, struggling to pronounce his last name. The boy had curly dark hair and a nasty habit of flinging spitballs at the blonde sitting right next to him.

"My name is Quinn Fabray." The girl spoke with no hesitation. She sat up straight and folded her hands, though every now and again she would whirl around and yell "Stop that! It's not very nice!" to Puckerman.

"My name is Rachel Berry and my daddys say I'm a star!" Rachel announced to the teacher. She sat nearest to the chalkboard with a grin on her face. When the teacher set her name tag down, she immediately dove into her pink rhinestone backpack and fished out gold star stickers. She promptly put on her name tag.

"Why do you have two daddys?" A little boy in the corner asked.

"It's because...it's because they're...um...hom...hom..."

"Alright class, let's move on!" The teacher said, sensing a very touchy subject coming on.

"My name is Kurt Hummel." The little boy said. He looked a little sad to Santana, like something was constantly bothering him. He fidgeted uncomfortably and kept glancing at a tall boy in a lumberjack vest.

"My name is Finn." The lumberjack vested boy announced.

"Finn...?" The teacher encouraged. The boy shrugged and went back to picking his nose. The teacher heaved a sigh and shook her head. She put down his name tag, which no one could read at the moment, and went onto the next girl.

"Tina Chang!" Tina announced. In kindergarten, Tina had only one last name. She lived primarily with her father but after her father got remarried when Tina was in the second grade, he hyphenated his last name to match his new wife's.

"We have the same last name! My name is Mike Chang!" An Asian boy exclaimed.

"Are you brother and sister?" Rachel asked.

"No..." Tina replied. "But...how do we..."

"A lot of people might have the same last name, or first name too." The teacher explained. "It doesn't mean that you're related. Some people even have the same first _and_ last name." The kids oo-ed and aaah-ed in understanding. She quickly moved onto the next one.

"My name is Mercedes Jones." The next girl announced proudly. She smiled as widely as she could. The teacher put her name tag down on her table and proceeded to the next one. She looked down at Santana and smiled.

"And what's your name?" She asked.

"Santana Lopez." Santana replied.

"Ahaha, you have a funny name!" Noah Puckerman laughed, pointing at her. Santana felt blood rush to her face.

"Nuh uh!" She shot back but Noah kept laughing. Even though the teacher put him in timeout right away, Santana wanted to cry. Why couldn't she have a pretty name or a normal name like Rachel, or Tina? When Puck ran away from the corner, it started a commotion that interrupted the introductions. Santana cried softly at being teased and she sat on the ground, wiping her tears away while Puck struggled to get out of the grasp of the teacher. The other kids dispersed and played with the toys while Santana struggled not to wail.

A girl came up to her, one of the girls who had yet to say her name. She leaned over Santana and tilted her head curiously.

"Why are you crying?" She said, pronouncing the words imperfectly by swapping the "r" with "w"s so that it sounded more like "cwying."

"I'm not crying!" Santana insisted.

"Nuh uh, I can see you crying." The girl responded.

"I'm not crying!" Santana shouted angrily. She just wanted to be left alone. The girl stuck out her hand and Santana eyed it, not sure what to do.

"I'm Brittany. Brittany Pierce."

"So?" Santana demanded in a way that suggested that she wanted to be left alone. But what Santana really wanted was a friend to sit down next to her, to give her a hug and tell her that her name was pretty. Brittany did not do the first two things. She shrugged and turned around to join the other kids but before she left, she said,

"I like your name." It was the last thing Brittany would say to Santana for a few years.

Brittany was an outcast at the beginning. All the other kids thought that she was weird, that she was too happy and airheaded. When she told the teacher a story about how a mouse came to her bed and started playing the harmonica, everyone laughed at her.

Santana too, thought the girl was strange and avoided her. Brittany didn't have friends in the beginning even though she was bright and cheerful it never seemed to bother her. She talked to her imaginary friends and had a better time than the other students sometimes. Santana once tried to approach her, she was the only girl who had tried to comfort her the first day of Kindergarten but Quinn quickly warned her not to.

"Ew, that girl's weird. She's always talking to her imaginary cat." The Quinn said, wrinkling her nose. "Let's just play with our dolls instead." Santana cast one last glance over at the blonde, serving tea to her "friends" and joined Quinn in making sure that Barbie came home in time to make dinner for Ken.

For two whole grades, Brittany Pierce played and sat alone. She was entirely fine with it. The teachers tried to integrate her into other peoples' groups but she shrugged and simply returned to her own devices.

Second grade rolled around and the night Santana's father stormed out, the Halloween that Santana would remember forever and would make her come to hate the holiday, passed by. For children that age, candy was currency, it was better than getting a quarter for being good. Halloween was a time to get as much candy as possible and trade the very next day. The teacher allowed them a half an hour to trade various Mars Bars for M&Ms, Snickers for Milky Ways and Nerds for Dum Dums. Even Brittany joined in, sporting a big pumpkin bag of goodies.

It was Santana who sat alone with no candy. The teacher took pity on her and gave her a couple of Hershey's kisses from her desk. Santana eyed the two kisses, not feeling so good. Her father hadn't returned and her mother barely got up in the morning to send her to school. Santana looked over at the other kids, laughing, trading and ignoring her. In their economic world, kisses were like pennies, no one wanted them they were so plentiful.

"Want a Mr. Goodbar?" Santana's head shot up. Brittany was offering her a Mr. Goodbar, possibly her favorite kind of candy. It wasn't just a fun size either, it was an entire bar of it. Santana took it, wide-eyed.

"But...this is yours."

"It's ok. I got lots. And mommy said that I should be nice and share." Brittany replied before turning back around.

"Wait!" Santana said. She didn't have much to offer but she wanted to try anyway. "Do you want a kiss?" She asked, holding up one of the Hershey's kisses.

The other kids were busy staring at Puck's mountain of candy. The teacher was trying to reign them all in to continue her lesson. Those that weren't trying to get freebies from Puck were trying to get in last minute trades. No one saw.

Brittany walked around the desk and pushed aside Santana's hand holding the chocolate. She leaned in and pecked her on the cheek. Santana dropped the candy and pushed her chair far away from Brittany, her eyes like saucers. Brittany merely flashed her a smile.

"It's what my mom always does." She replied. The teacher yelled for all of them to get back to their seats and Brittany skipped off, leaving Santana rubbing at her cheek to get rid of the cooties.

When Santana got home that afternoon, she hadn't eaten the Mr. Goodbar. Instead, she stashed it away in her desk drawer. For some reason, even if she really, really wanted to eat it, she couldn't bring herself to do it. Instead, she lay on her bed and listened as her mother downstairs talked on the phone angrily. Santana closed her eyes and imagined that maybe she was angry because her father hadn't come home to take her trick or treating. Maybe she was yelling at him to get her a cupcake on his way home from work. And he would be back just in time to tuck her in at night. As she thought about her father coming back, her eyelids slowly drooped and she dozed off.

She awoke to shouting and crashing from downstairs. She sat up quickly and curled into a ball, wondering if someone had broken into their house. But then she heard the voices and recognized one of them as her father. She hopped out of bed and flung open the door. Her father stormed past her and into her parents' bedroom. Santana carefully walked out and followed. When she walked in, her father had pulled out a suitcase and was throwing all of his clothes into it.

"Daddy?" Santana whispered. Her father turned around and his gaze, etched with anger and frustration, softened.

"Hey princess." He said, opening his arms. She ran into them and he sat down on the bed and bounced her on his knee.

"Daddy...where are you going? Are you going to Disney World without me?" Santana asked. Her father smiled.

"No, princess." He replied. "I'm...I'm going away for a little while."

"How long?"

"I don't know princess." The door opened and Santana's mother walked in. She put her hands on her hips.

"For God's sake, just tell her, don't coddle her, she needs to know." Her mother snapped.

"I don't want to hear it!" He yelled back. Santana looked from her mother to her father.

"What's happening?" She inquired. Her father stroked her head in the way he only did when something was wrong.

"Honey..."

"Your daddy's leaving, Santana, probably for good."

"Why?" Santana demanded, panic rising in her chest.

"Mommy and daddy have been fighting a lot, and that's not good for you." Her father explained. Santana gripped her father's shirt.

"I don't want daddy to go!" She yelled.

"Honey, we don't want to fight around you. It makes you scared."

"I'm not gonna be scared no more!" She yelled. "I promise!"

"It's not just that baby..." Her father sighed. "We just need some time apart." Santana began crying.

"I'm sorry I asked to go trick or treating! I'm sorry!" Santana sobbed, burying her face into his shirt. Her father hugged her and stroked his hair.

"No, princess, I'm sorry." He whispered. There was little he could do to comfort her.

He tucked her in for the last time. She listened to her mother and father talk a little. They weren't yelling at each other anymore and she pressed her ear to the door and listened in. She heard her name mentioned a few times, she heard her father get up from the kitchen table and she heard the door opened. The two of them exchanged goodbyes and the door closed. In the driveway, the car started and drove away; Santana listened until the hum of the engine was nonexistent.

In the next few days, Santana prayed to God that her father would come back, that it was a bad dream or something along those lines. Maybe it was a really bad joke. But her father didn't once show up. He made two phone calls and of those two, only talked to Santana once.

"I love you, Santana, you'll always be my princess. When you get older, you'll understand that maybe two people aren't meant to stay together." He said. Santana asked her mother why two people couldn't stay together.

"Money." Her mother responded. "Your dad didn't have enough for us to live off of. He spent it all on what he wanted."

"Is money really that important?" Santana asked. Her mother sighed.

"Money, whether we like it or not, is the most important commodity in life. Without it, we can't buy you toys, or take you to Disney World, or do anything fun." Her mother said.

"If daddy had money, would he have stayed?" Santana asked. She thought about her piggy bank, that she had almost three dollars in change. Maybe that was enough to bring her father back.

"Maybe." Her mother replied. "But I don't think so."

With that still fresh in her mind, Santana went to school the next day. Her teacher handed them all a sheet of paper with a couple of questions on it. Santana looked down and read off the letters slowly.

"If you could have anything." Her teacher read. "What would it be?" It was supposed to be a writing exercise. Write a couple of short sentences to explain what in life you wanted. One girl wanted a pony, some of the boys wanted tanks. When it came to Santana, she replied,

"I want money." She didn't write anything else. She didn't explain why she wanted it, she didn't know it either. The teacher told her to write couple more sentences explaining what she would do with money if she had it. She shrugged. "Bring my daddy back." She wrote. The teacher didn't ask her to read it out loud after seeing what was written. Instead she turned to Brittany.

"Well? If you could have anything, what would it be, Ms. Pierce?" She said with a smile.

"Nothing." Brittany held up her paper for the teacher to see. There was nothing written on it.

"Brittany..." The teacher forced a smile. The blonde had always been a bit of a handful to deal with. She floated through life differently than any other kids she had taught. She was always spacing out, still talking to her imaginary friends, not caring about anyone or anything.

"The point of this assignment was to write down something you wanted." Her teacher said calmly. Brittany nodded.

"I don't need anything." She announced. The other kids weren't paying attention anymore. They never did when Brittany said something weird, this case was no exception. Except that Santana looked over at the girl with wide eyes.

She'd heard about Brittany's family, mostly through Quinn. The rumors ranged from plausible to absurd. She was apparently so poor, they had to live on welfare. Brittany's clothes were all donated clothes. They lived in a cardboard box under the bridge. Brittany had to walk a bajillion miles to get to school.

Santana didn't know which of the rumors to believe. But she did know that Brittany brought peanut butter sandwiches every day, that her parents didn't own a car, which was why she could never go to any of the events that the school hosted, and that she never had any new clothes. So it puzzled her that this girl, who had so much she could ask for, didn't want anything at all. She thought back to the Mr. Goodbar, still sitting in her desk untouched and wondered why, if Brittany was so poor, she would give away candy.

At recess, Santana approached her. As usual, Brittany was running around in the grass, arms spread, making faint airplane noises.

"Why don't you want anything?" Santana demanded.

"She has cooties! Ewww!" Quinn yelled. Santana ignored her.

"I don't want anything." Brittany said.

"But my mommy said that money is the most important thing in the world. You don't want money? Quinn says you're poor, which means you don't have any." Brittany shrugged.

"I'm happy." She replied.

"But you eat icky peanut butter sandwiches every day. There isn't even jelly!" Santana argued.

"I like peanut butter." Brittany said simply. "You don't like peanut butter?" Santana shook her head.

"I like it. But...you don't have any friends! Do you want a friend?"

"I have lots of friends." She said, pointing to her side. "There's Billy the goat and Mandy the moose." Santana opened her mouth to respond that they weren't real when Brittany pointed to her. "And you." Santana faltered.

"I'm not your friend." She said quickly. Brittany grinned.

"Yeah you are. I'm your friend. I like you." The blonde smiled sweetly. Santana looked at her feet and dug a hole in the ground with her shoe. Quinn in the distance was shouting for her. Puck and his friends were yelling that Santana was going to get cooties from playing with Brittany.

"You wanna play?" Brittany offered. Santana looked up across the open field and then back to the clustered jungle gyms that the other kids were clambering all over.

"There's no swings or anything." Santana pointed out.

"We can make up our own game! Here, what about this one?" She reached over and touched Santana on the arm. "Now you have to try to touch me! But I'm running away." Santana burst into laughter.

"That's tag you dummy!" She said. Brittany tilted her head.

"What's tag?" She asked.

"It's when I touch you and I run away and you try to catch me!"

"Really? I call it 'run away'." Brittany pouted. "Well, how about we play pretend? Make believe? My mommy really likes to play that game with me." Santana took one last glance at the other kids beckoning her to join them. She looked back at Brittany, her hand extended expectantly, the hand that was, no doubt, covered with cooties.

Then again, this girl shared her candy. Santana offered a timid smile and took her hand. Brittany held it firmly and together they ran into the open field.


	3. Chapter 3

Brittany closed the door of her car and walked up to where Quinn Fabray was waiting for her. It had been months since she stormed out of her and Santana's house and she didn't have anywhere else to stay in the interim period. She was looking for an affordable apartment, no easy feat since she didn't make that much money as a Kindergarten teacher. Quinn Fabray lived alone with her daughter who was the same age as Matt. Quinn had married, had a kid, and wound up divorcing her cheating bastard of a husband. Brittany thought it was best anyway, she never liked him to begin with.

"I never liked her to begin with." Quinn stated the minute Brittany called her up and explained the situation. Brittany smiled. Even long after they'd graduated, Quinn still hated Santana with an unrivaled passion. They'd become cordial, mostly because Brittany tried to make peace between them. But Quinn had always been Brittany's friend, never Santana's.

So when Brittany explained that she needed a place to stay, Quinn, living quite comfortably off her spousal payments, invited her to stay with her and little Cassie. Cassie played with Sammy and occasionally, Matt. Brittany felt thankful that Sammy had something to take her mind off of the fact that her other Mommy was missing. The first few nights she had to deal with Sammy crying for Santana but gradually, she got used to it.

She was also thankful for Quinn who made her life exponentially easier while the divorce was happening. Quinn did a lot of the cooking and cleaning while Brittany saw the lawyer, sorted out the paperwork, etc.

"I understand how hard it is." Quinn said as the two of them did the dishes. "When Ben and I divorced, god, I didn't have a single minute to myself."

"You fared a lot better than I did." Brittany noted. "Even without someone else's help."

"I wasn't in love with Ben for most of my life." Quinn replied. Brittany sighed. "How are you dealing with it, by the way? Are you...are you still..."

"I've had enough." Brittany said quietly. "That's all there is to it." Quinn nodded, understanding. She knew how Santana was. She knew that Santana was stubborn, proud and vindictive. But Quinn always thought that Santana handled Brittany with a sense of care, no matter what Brittany said or did. Perhaps her patience had finally run out.

"Listen, one thing that helped me out most was going to see a therapist. You just sit there and rant to someone who gets paid to listen to you and talk to you about it. Seriously, I highly recommend it. I scheduled a free trial session for you on Thursday if you can make it." Quinn said. Brittany looked over at her.

"Quinn, I have so much to do." She said. "I don't have time..."

"Just go. Once, for me." Quinn replied. "It really helped." Quinn handed Brittany a business card with the therapist's address, name and phone number. Brittany took it and looked down. It took her a moment to read all the words and she pocketed the card.

"Thanks, Q." She said, smiling.

"No problem, Brittany." Quinn replied.

* * *

Thursday found Brittany outside the office, business card in hand. She'd gotten lost three times in the same block but people were friendly enough to direct her. Looking at the building, she wondered how she could've missed it. It was a gaudy, faded orange building with a giant sign with the therapist's name on it. Brittany took a deep breath and opened the glass doors.

The waiting room was, thankfully, filled with earthy, calming colors. She sat in the waiting area on a well worn leather couch. She adjusted her purse several times out of nervousness before placing it on her lap. The receptionist was too busy watching the small television mounted on the wall to really take notice of her.

The phone eventually rang and the receptionist sent Brittany on in.

"Come in, come in! Welcome, my name is Dr. Thomas." The man, an elderly fellow with as many gray hairs on his head as there were diplomas framed on his wall, stuck out his hand for her to shake.

"It's nice to meet you." Brittany said politely. "My name is Brittany Pierce-Lopez"

"Yes, yes. I heard about you from Quinn. Would you like to take a seat? However you're comfortable. Most people like lying down but sit up if it's better for you that way. Let's take a minute to get acquainted, shall we?" Brittany sat down and he almost fell back into his chair, the air hissing as his weight flattened the cushion.

"So, tell me a little about what's going on and why you're here. As much as you feel comfortable." Brittany looked at the floor, the perfectly waxed marble reflecting her face back at her.

"Well...I'm in the process of getting divorced. I've been with this person for...oh...since we were in high school I guess." She said hesitantly, careful to avoid pronouns or revealing too much.

"I can see how that would be taxing." He responded, jotting notes down on his pad.

"We have three kids and they're all angels, taking it so well. I just...I don't know where I went wrong, or where we went wrong. We've been together for so many years."

"Well, sometimes it's no one's fault." He said. "Don't blame yourself for what happened. Sometimes these things happen naturally." He set his pen down and observed her.

"I just want to know. We were so in love for so many years, how could..." Brittany stopped and collected herself. Thomas smiled knowingly. How many times had he seen someone come through his office, crying from a broken heart that was still yearning for the other. This woman seemed still so in love with her spouse. He couldn't tell her to be together, to work through the problems, no, he was merely there for them to discover what their love really meant. If, by the end of their sessions, they decided to remain apart, that was just how the world worked.

"Let's go back then." He suggested.

"What do you mean?" Brittany asked.

"Let's start from when you last saw your spouse. I often find starting from the end and tracing a path back often reveals a lot about what you think went wrong." Brittany bowed her head. Her posture sank a little. It was not a memory she liked reliving and yet, every night before she went to bed, she couldn't help but think of it because it was burned so deeply into her mind. But if it meant moving on, finding peace of mind and discovering all along that their relationship wasn't meant to be, then she was willing to give it a try. She looked up and nodded ever so slightly.

* * *

It was four o'clock. Brittany was sitting at home, reading a magazine. Sammy was fast asleep, given that it was field day earlier and she was tired out from all the running. She was passed out on the couch. Matt was playing his video games, albeit very quietly so as not to wake his sister. Aaron was at soccer practice as per usual and she didn't know when he would be getting home.

The sun was quickly setting as the afternoon wore on. Sammy woke up, and asked for her snack. Brittany shouted at Matt to get his homework done but Matt merely yelled back "alright" but didn't move. Brittany had always been too soft. When Santana got home, she'd all but drag Matt to the kitchen and make him do his homework.

It was growing dark. Brittany glanced at the clock. It was almost six. Brittany looked out the window, wondering why Aaron wasn't home yet. Normally practice ended at 5 and he would be home by 5:30. Santana was going to be home soon, maybe she swung by and picked him up.

At 6, the door opened and Santana walked in. Brittany stood up and welcomed her home.

"Hi sweetie." She said. Santana brushed past her and sat down at the table, exhausted. Brittany looked at the door. "Where's Aaron?"

"He should be home." Santana said.

"He was at practice." Brittany replied. Santana slowly leaned forward, her expression one of disbelief.

"You were supposed to pick him up." She said slowly and carefully. Brittany's hand flew to her mouth. She looked at the calendar. In red marker, it said very clearly, "pick Aaron up from practice." The calendar had been their way of keeping track of what Brittany was supposed to do. She always forgot important things and Santana made her keep a calendar. It had been the cause of so many problems in the past.

"Oh God. Oh God." Brittany said, fumbling with her cellphone.

"You forgot to pick Aaron up?" Santana yelled. Brittany ignored her and put the phone up to her ear. Just as she did that, the door opened.

"Hi Mama, hi Mom." Aaron walked through the door. Santana got to her feet and Brittany flung the phone away. She hugged Aaron tightly.

"I'm so sorry, Aaron. I'm so sorry." Brittany said.

"S'ok." He replied, putting his book bag down.

"No, it's not ok." Santana said. She glared at Brittany. "Why are you always forgetting these things? What if something had happened? We made a calendar so that you could keep track of what you're supposed to do!" Brittany stood up straight and Aaron made a beeline for the living room where his siblings were.

"Santana, I said I was sorry."

"Sorry this, sorry that. That's all you know how to say! God, I've put up with this for such a long time."

"I'm safe, Mom. And Mama won't let it happen again." Aaron said, poking his head into the kitchen.

"It's not just that! What if you were hurt? What if you got abducted or something?"

"Mom, I'm 14, I'm not going to be abducted so easily..." Aaron tried to reason.

"Or what about Sammy, huh? What if you forgot her at the mall?" Santana's voice grew increasingly loud.

"Don't yell at me, Santana! You know I don't like it!" Brittany shouted back.

"There are plenty of things you know I don't like! And I put up with it!" Santana said. Much of her rage came from her exhaustion. But they'd been fighting a lot as of late. "My job is to make the money, your job is to take care of the kids! Why can't you do your job right?"

"That's stupid! And masochistic!"

"Misogynistic!" Santana snapped, correcting her. "You can't even use your words right!"

"Santana, stop yelling! Not in front of the kids!" Brittany insisted. Santana angrily stormed into the kitchen and grabbed a bottled of wine, pouring herself a large glass.

"Santana, stop, the doctor said..."

"Fuck him!"

"Watch your language!" Brittany warned. In the living room, Aaron tried to get Matt and Sammy to go upstairs.

"I'll say whatever I want. God, you don't make enough to pay the bills, I have to work overtime to do everything. We made that fucking calendar so that you would start helping out!"

"I am helping out! I forgot just this once! I'm sorry, ok? You don't understand what kind of day it was."

"What? Playing with kids? Oh, well excuse me if that's really hard work for you. It's not like you're interacting with people of your own mental capacity!" Brittany shrunk away, hurt.

"You don't mean that." Santana knew she'd gone too far.

"Brittany..."

"Fuck you!" Brittany rarely cursed. "You don't say that to me! What about you, huh? You and your stupid wine? You think it doesn't make me mad when you come home late at night and I have to take care of your stupid hangover? And you never stop yelling! I'm trying, Santana, I'm really trying!" Brittany walked away.

"I know you are, but why aren't you trying harder?"

"Why don't you try harder to be nice to me for once? All you've been doing is cutting me down!"

"That is not what I've been doing." Santana defended.

"Yes it is! God, that's all you've been doing ever since we moved here!"

"Well maybe it's deserved!" Brittany closed her eyes. Santana was just angry, the anger would pass.

"You never, ever think about what I'm feeling. You always want things your way."

"That't total bullshit and you know it!"

"No it's not! When we got married, everything I did after that was always to please you! You've never loved me like I loved you." Santana slammed her fist against the wall.

"You're right. I don't love you as much as you love me. I don't love you in that lost puppy kind of way, ok?"

"Then why the fuck did you marry me?" Brittany demanded. She wanted Santana to say that it was because she loved her. She hoped that it would calm Santana down to remember that they loved each other, even if it was in their own different ways. Santana's anger was reaching the boiling point, Brittany could tell. And if she didn't find a way to call her down...

"I MARRIED YOU BECAUSE I WAS TOO AFRAID TO HURT YOUR FEELINGS TO SAY NO!"

Brittany felt like she was drowning. All the air left her lungs. Her mouth opened to say "You don't mean that." But all that escaped her mouth was silence. She heard Aaron push Sammy up the stairs. She closed her mouth and looked at the ground. In just that instant, everything that they'd built, their home, their marriage, all of it meant nothing. She looked back up at Santana, whose anger had completely dissipated. Brittany wanted to smile, to laugh and tell her it was a good joke but the words had cut too deeply for her to mask.

All of her love for Santana drained instantly, like the plug had been pulled and it was spilling into the drain like murky water. Tears filled her eyes and she pursed her lips.

A lie.

Their marriage had been a lie.

Brittany closed her eyes and wondered if Santana had ever loved her. Or if she only felt an obligation to do what made Brittany happy. There was no way it could've been all fake. They had kids, they'd been together for almost two decades.

But this time, no matter how hard Brittany tried, she could not convince herself otherwise. When she opened her eyes again, she stared hard at Santana and tried to come up with any excuse for why Santana had said what she did. She waited for Santana to apologize, to explain that it was out of anger. But no, Santana would never do that. Santana would never say "I'm sorry" to anything. She would never back down like that.

And suddenly Brittany could believe those horrible words that Santana uttered. Santana had always been like that; too proud to say no. She was too proud to back down from a challenge, from a fight. And that was exactly what Brittany's proposal had been; a challenge.

The light from the kitchen was too bright and it hurt to be standing there with Santana. They'd both gone too far now. Brittany grabbed her bag off of the chair and raced out the door. She walked down the block and crumpled on the sidewalk, sobbing and gasping for breath. Every part of her hurt and she let out a low moan of pain. Nothing Santana had ever done or said even compared to this. She felt a hand on her back and she turned around. In the back of her mind, a small flicker of wishful thinking hoped that it was Santana there to apologize. Instead, it was Matt. She turned around and hugged him. The boy normally hated being hugged but he let her hug him and he clung to her arms.

"It'll be ok." She whispered but it was only for his benefit.


	4. Chapter 4

_Present Day_

Santana opened her eyes and blinked against the light. Her neck was killing her and her whole body ached with pain. She looked around and noticed that she wasn't in her room, but rather in Aaron's room. The boy was still sleeping and Santana realized that she'd fallen asleep telling the beginning of their story to her son. She glanced at the alarm clock resting beside Aaron's bed and jumped to her feet.

"Aaron, baby, it's time for school. You're going to be late!" She said, shaking him. Aaron sat up and rubbed his eyes, groaning a little. Normally Aaron would leap out of bed at the thought of being late even a minute to school.

"I don't want to go to school." He whispered. Santana placed her hand on his forehead to feel for his temperature.

"You don't feel hot. Are you alright, sweetie?"

"Can I stay home, just this once?" He asked. Santana took a step back. Aaron was never one to miss class, no matter how sick he got. He was the golden boy who had good grades, perfect attendance and a saintly attitude.

"Is everything alright?" Santana asked. "Should I call a doctor?"  
"I'm just so sleepy." He replied. Santana sat on the edge of his bed and stroked his hair. He'd always done what was asked of him, no questions asked. It was surprising to say the least that he would ask to play hooky. She knew Matt did it from time to time but Aaron would never do something like that. He didn't know how.

"Are you sure you're not sick?" Santana asked again, brushing his blond hair from his eyes. "We need to get you a hair cut." Aaron smiled.

"Can I get it buzzed?"

"You can do whatever you want." Santana replied. She pulled out her cellphone and noted with disappointment that sometime during the night the battery had gone dead. "Let me call your school, let them know you're 'sick'." She winked and Aaron flopped back down onto the pillow with a smile on his face. Santana walked downstairs and picked up their house phone and opened the cabinet where a long list of phone numbers were tacked onto the back of the door. She looked down the list, "_Matt's school, Sammy's school..._" Santana looked at the next number and paused. Her heart skipped a beat and sank.

"_Brittany's school._" Her hand dropped by her side and she swallowed the lump in her throat. If she called, would Brittany answer? Would she talk to her?

"Mom?" Aaron walked into the kitchen, still in his sleepwear. Santana shook her head and feigned a smile.

"Just a second." She found the next entry, the number to Aaron's school and dialed the number. She shut the cabinet door and focused on the ringing on the other end instead of the pounding of her heart. When the secretary answered, she coughed first, clearing her throat.

"Hi, this is Aaron Lopez..." Santana stopped and glanced at Aaron who averted his gaze. "Lopez-Pierce's mother." Aaron fidgeted when he heard their last name. Santana wondered if when they divorced, Aaron's last name would become just "Lopez."

"Yes, Mrs. Lopez-Pierce?" The secretary prompted her for more.

"Oh, sorry, um, Aaron isn't feeling particularly well today. I'm going to keep him home for now."

"Alright, ma'am, I'll let his teachers know." The secretary thanked her and Santana hung up the phone. Aaron sat quietly at the table and Santana pulled up a chair next to him.

"What do you want for breakfast?" She asked.

"Don't care." Aaron shrugged. Santana stroked his head again, something that Matt would never let her do.

"Since you're already playing hooky, why don't we have cookies for breakfast?" Santana suggested. Aaron grinned.

"Sounds good to me, Mom." He replied.

"You want to help me bake?" She asked.

"Sure, what do you need me to do?"

Half an hour later, the cookies were more or less, made and in the oven. Santana had a large flour smear across her left cheek and Aaron's entire shirt was powdered.

"Despite the fact that I think it tried to kill us once, breakfast is being made!" Santana announced. She turned to the mess on the counter. Egg shells were spread everywhere, batter dripped off the counter. She turned around just in time to get a face full of flour. Aaron broke into a fit of laughter and he pointed and doubled over.

"You are so helping me clean this up." Santana hissed in mock rage. She grabbed a fist full of flour and threw it right back at him. Then, taking advantage of his confusion, she grabbed him and put him in a headlock.

"I give!" He shouted. "I give!" She took some of the melted chocolate and smeared it across his face. He squirmed and finally got out of her grasp then ran around the island to defend himself.

"Go shower, ok? I'll clean up." Santana said, waving him away. He slowly and cautiously backed out of the kitchen and ran up the stairs once he was in the clear. Santana shook her head and sighed contently. Seeing Aaron happy again gave her a small glimmer of hope that their life would return to normal, even without Brittany.

After their breakfast of milk and cookies, Aaron went into the living room and turned on the PlayStation. He popped in a game and began playing. Santana sat down on the couch next to him and watched as he ran around a jungle, shooting people.

"What's this game about?" She asked.

"Treasure hunting." He replied.

"Are you shooting bad guys?" Santana asked.

"Well, I'm kind of a bad guy." He explained.

"Oh. What's that thing?" Santana pointed to a giant spider like robot.

"That's my ride." He said and his character jumped into the cockpit. Santana watched her son play video games for a little while, alternating between looking at the screen and looking at Aaron. The boy was so focused on the task at hand.

"You seem pretty good at this." She noted.

"I guess. I never get to play because Matt..." He stopped. His eyes, a second ago glazed over because of all the action on screen, darkened. He set the controller down and got up to turn the TV and console off. He sat back down and a hushed, melancholy silence fell over the household again. Santana stared at her feet.

"Do you miss him?" She asked. Aaron nodded honestly.

"Sammy too."

"We'll get to see them soon."

"Maybe. In court, right?" Aaron said. Santana blinked away her tears and inhaled sharply. Court was no place for siblings to see each other.

"I'm sorry, Aaron." She whispered. "None of this would've happened..."

"Don't be, Mom. You and Mama had been fighting for a while. I just want you to be happy."

"I'm happy if my kids are happy. And right now, they're sad." Santana replied. Aaron shrugged again but his shoulders only lifted a little, as if a weight was pressing down on them.

"We'll be ok, Mom." Aaron half-heartedly promised. He looked up at her, his eyes shining with tears he was too proud to shed.

"_Just like me._" Santana thought.

"Hey Mom?" He started. "Can you...can you tell me more about how you and Mama got together?" Santana knew it was going to lead to this. But she put on a brave smile to console him.

"Sure sweetie."

* * *

Santana hadn't always been that gorgeous girl that everyone wanted. When she was younger, she was kind of chubby, kind of awkward and an outcast ever since she started hanging out more with Brittany. In third grade, Brittany and Santana kept to themselves, in class, during recess, walking to and from classes. They ignored the jeers and the bullying because they had each other to play with.

It was around third grade, however, that the girls and boys of Lima's elementary school started noticing each other. It started when Finn and Quinn were playing together and Quinn's older sister at the high school saw them.

"Oooo." She cooed in a teasing manner. "Quinn's got a boooyyfriend." Quinn looked at Finn and got up, disgusted.

"I do not!" She yelled, chasing after her big sister. After that incident, word soon spread about things like "girlfriend" or "boyfriend" and the word "crush" started being used liberally.

"Rachel's got a crush on Finn!"

"Lauren's got a crush on Puck!"

"Puck's got a crush on Quinn! And Rachel! And Tina! And Tina's mom!"

Initially, the kids would refute it, pretending to be disgusted. But slowly and surely, the kids at Lima Elementary school started actually developing crushes. It started when Rachel Berry admitted to a few of her close friends that she found Finn adorable and she wouldn't mind having a crush on him. After that, everyone had to have a crush or they had nothing to talk about. Brittany was somehow immune to the puppy-love disease. She off in her own little world too often to notice anyone besides Santana. Santana, however, was not so lucky.

It happened one day when Brittany was talking to the teacher during recess about wandering off the playgrounds. Santana was sitting in the patch of dandelions that they called "Dandelion Forest" and they were on their way to the deadly "Dust Canyon" to save their fellow warriors. Quinn Fabray, who normally hung out by the blacktop and hopscotch area, approached Santana.

"Hey Santana." She said with an evil smirk on her face.

"What do you want?" Santana asked, picking a dandelion.

"Guess what I heard?" Quinn said in a sing-song voice. "I heard that Noah Puckerman has a crush on you."

"He has a crush on everyone." Santana shot back but she turned red.

"But he really has a crush on you." Quinn replied.

"You're l-lying." Santana muttered and Quinn ran off, laughing. She passed Brittany on her way back to Santana and Brittany cast a wary glance the retreating girl. Sensing that something was wrong, Brittany ran to Santana.

"What happened?" She asked. Santana picked at the dandelion.

"Nothing happened." She lied. But the seed of an idea had been planted in Santana's mind and she started noticing Puck more and more. Every time he cast even a stray glance in Santana's direction, she blushed. She over-analyzed all of his actions, when he asked her to borrow a pencil, when he stole her lunch, when he hit her in gym class with a ball, she was convinced that he was just being a boy and that was how he showed his affections.

"Whatchu thinking about?" Brittany asked. "You let Reginald Moss take over our castle!"

"Sorry, Brit." She sighed.

"We don't have to play this game. We can play other things too!"

"Do you think Puck likes me?" Brittany tilted her head at the comment.

"Puck? I think he's mean." She responded.

"But do you think he's mean because he likes me?" Santana asked.

"Why don't you ask him?" Brittany said. Santana blushed and buried her head.

"I don't want to do that!"

"Ok, your choice." Brittany replied and began weaving a magical halo from blades of grass and weeds.

It was near the end of the year. Santana was 99% certain that Noah Puckerman also liked her. He paid too much attention to her not to, even if his actions were bullying and mean. She thought about him day and night, prayed to God that he liked her back until one day it wasn't enough just to think about him. He was sitting at his desk, fooling around because the teacher had stepped out for a moment and Santana approached him.

"Hey Noah?" She said quietly. Puck and Finn were busy arm wrestling and they stopped when she approached.

"Whaddaya want?" Puck demanded. Santana shifted her feet. Everyone in the class was looking at her now and she missed the evil smile on Quinn's face. Santana felt her face grow hot and her heart started racing. Behind her, she heard a chair screech back. It was now or never. She couldn't deal with not knowing whether he felt the same.

"Um...um...I really like you!" She blurted. The whole class erupted in cat-calls and chantings of "ooooo Santana likes Puck!" Puck turned pale at first, leaning back in shock. Then he colored and his eyes narrowed angrily.

"EWWWW." He yelled. "Who would like a fatty like you? You're so gross and you're not even cool!" He got up and walked to an empty desk far away from hers. Santana felt her eyes start to water and every nerve in her body shook in embarrassment. The whole class laughed at her, called her names like "fatty" or "ugly". She felt like hiding, or running away, or anything that would take her away from the classroom. Instead, she stood frozen in place, shaking with unshed tears.

Someone put an arm around her and led her out of the class, taking the hall pass with them as they left. Santana didn't bother to look up, only one person would still be nice to her after this. The two went into the bathroom and Santana started wailing.

"I thought he liked me!" She cried. Brittany sat opposite of her and drew her knees up to her face and waited. "Quinn said...Quinn said he did! I can't go back there!" Brittany reached out and touched her hair.

"It's ok."

"No it's not, Brit! I'm ugly and fat! Everyone's laughing at me!"

"I'm not laughing at you." Brittany replied. "And I think you're pretty. You're not fat at all." But Santana only cried more. Brittany scooted until she was sitting next to Santana and rested her head against her shoulder.

"I like you." She admitted.

"You're just saying that." Santana said, her sobs starting to calm down.

"No really, I like you. I can have a crush on you if you want."

"Girls can't have crushes on other girls." Santana explained.

"Says who?" Brittany demanded. "I have a crush on you! Really! I like you!" Santana sniffed a few more times, grabbed a roll of toilet paper to blow her nose with and rested her head against Brittany's.

"You're silly." She said but just hearing Brittany say those things made her feel better. They sat in the bathroom until the teacher found them and ushered them back in. Santana kept her gaze to her desk, doing her best to ignore all the spitballs and the scathing notes flying her way. When she felt that it was too much, Brittany slipped her a note. She opened it.

_"I'm not kidding! I really, really like you!"_ It said. Santana looked up in time to see Brittany make a heart with her hands. Santana smiled and wiped her eyes. As long as she had Brittany, everything was going to be ok. No matter who taunted her, or how much they taunted her, she'd always have Brittany. Together they were inseparable.

Or so they thought.

It was the last day of their school year and the kids there were fidgeting like crazy, eying the clock with an intensity that could kill a small woodland creature. Santana and Brittany, however, were lost in their own little world, cutting up little shapes in folded paper to create snowflakes. Brittany prattled on about her vacation to Florida with her parents the very next day, how she'd never been on a plane before and tomorrow was going to be her very first time. Santana listened quietly and she was a little sad that Brittany was leaving the first day of summer vacation. But she didn't worry, Brittany was only going to be gone a few weeks and then she'd be back and they could spend their summer vacation together. About 10 minutes before the bell was supposed to ring, a teacher walked in.

"Santana? Santana Lopez?" Everyone turned to look at the teacher. Santana raised her hand. "Come with me. Your mom is here to pick you up." Santana cast a quick glance at Brittany who shrugged her shoulders. Santana got up and followed to teacher from the classroom to the front of the school where her mother was.

"Mommy?"

"Hi sweetie! Mommy's here to pick you up from school! Isn't that exciting?" Santana said nothing. Her mother took her by the hand and led her to the car, even letting her sit up front next to her. Santana looked over at her mother.

"Is something wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong, sweetie. But I do have some news for you." Her mother smiled nervously. "You know how your dad..."

"He's not my dad."

"Ok...you know how your step-father has been trying to get this job in California, right? It'll bring in a lot of money." Her mother explained. "Well, he just got a call from the hospital and he got the job."

"Is he moving there?" Santana asked excitedly. Her mother pulled the car over on the side of the road and heaved a sigh. She took Santana's hand in hers.

"Well...Santana...we all are." Santana's mouth dropped open.

"What?"

"We're moving to California! Isn't that exciting? We'll be really close to Disney Land too, so you can go whenever you want! There'll be beaches there, and better schools and it won't be cold..."

"I don't wanna go!" Santana yelled.

"Honey, we don't have a choice. It's very important for your step-father to get this job!"

"I don't wanna go!"

"But honey, you complain all the time about the bullies here. You can get a fresh start at this new school, no one will bully you!" Santana unbuckled her seatbelt and opened the door. She ran out and her mother chased after her. Santana ran a short distance before she sank to the ground in a fit of tears. Her mother tried to console her.

"This isn't how big girls act, Santana."  
"I'm not a big girl! I wanna stay here! I wanna be with Brittany! She's my only friend." Santana sobbed. Her mother squatted down next to her and encircled her with her arms.

"I know it's scary, baby. But your father...step-father is doing what's best for all of us." She explained. Santana wailed even louder. She slammed her legs down on the ground and flailed her arms. Her mother stood up and shook her head. She thought Santana would be happy about this. Santana always came home talking about how mean the other kids were, with one exception. She adored her best friend Brittany and they often had sleepovers, lunch and play dates. But she never thought that just this one girl would be enough for Santana to want to stay.

She waited there until Santana's temper tantrum settled down and she exhausted herself. Her mother walked back over to Santana's side.

"You feeling better now?"

"Can I call Brittany?" Santana asked.

"Of course. When we get home, sweetie." She said. The two got back in the car and Santana sat with her cheek pressed to the window, still hiccupping and crying all the way back. When she got home, she raced to the telephone and dialed Brittany's number.

"Hello?" Brittany's mother answered.

"Hi Mrs. Pierce. Is Brittany home?" She asked.

"Oh hi Santana! Yes, she's just finishing up packing. Let me get her." Santana waited on the other line, her heart sinking fast.

"Hello?" Brittany's voice floated over to the other end.

"Brit?" Santana said.

"Hey San! What's up?" Santana's voice caught in her throat and she quickly wiped her nose and tears. "San? What's..."

"I'm moving, Brit." Silence filled the room on both ends and Santana felt compelled to fill it with something. "I'm moving to California."

"Why?" Brittany asked.

"My step-father got a job there, so we need to move."

"When?"

"I dunno. Mommy never told me that." Santana replied.

"Do I still get to see you?" Brittany's voice was small.

"I don't think so, Brit." Santana felt fresh tears fill her eyes.

"But...but who's going to help me defeat the evil Dracula?" Brittany asked.

"I don't know." Santana answered. Over the telephone, she heard Brittany sniff. Her best friend was crying too. "Brit? Say something."

"I don't want you to go!"

"I don't wanna go either!" Santana insisted. The two of them clung to the phone for a little while longer, both of them trying to stifle their sobs. Brittany kept repeating that she didn't want to be alone, that Santana couldn't go because they still had so many adventures to go on. And Santana responded that she didn't want to leave either and they went back and forth. Finally, Santana heard Brittany's mother call for her on the other end.

"Don't leave." Brittany whispered.

"I don't want to B. But I think I have to."

"San?"

"Yeah, Brit?"

"You're my best friend. I won't ever have another best friend, ok?"

"I won't either." Santana replied.

"Promise?"

"Promise." Santana swore.

"Will you call me all the time?"

"Promise."

"And send letters?" Brittany continued.

"Promise."

"Ok." Brittany said. She sniffed again. "Bye, Santana." Santana whispered the same and waited until she heard Brittany hang up first. She put her phone back into the holder and went to her room and cried. She opened her drawer and pulled out the Mr. Goodbar that Brittany had given her a year ago and clung to it while she buried her face into the pillow. It would be another 4 years until Brittany and Santana met in person again.


End file.
